I drove slower after passing downtown and entering the vaster suburban roads. There’s an ocean of thoughts I had to get through before I was…home?
I’m not the type to worry often. Today, that’s all I’ve done—in between appointments. The subtle confusion on her face was printed bold in my mind—I didn’t think it’d trigger so many thoughts. The confusion was mine first before it spread.
Ah. I pulled my head back and pressed the window down. The air was also fresher here.
While the roads downtown were jam packed, the ones leading to the house were empty in comparison. It’s an ideal way to unwind after work for people who like to drive. The quiet roads were why I chose the suburbs now, even if it was more expensive. It’s a nightmare living downtown when silence is your favourite thing in the world. Even in the dead of night, it’s nowhere to be found. There’s always some kind of raucous. Whether it’s cars or people. Inconsiderate people.
Downtown has the convenience of proximity and cheaper rent, but it’s become too hellish for me. The sheer number of junkies I’ve had to deal with was enough to make me pack. The suburbs offered all I needed. Peace, quiet, and safety where I don’t need to be on guard all the time. Nature, too. There’s more greenery and small wildlife there.
I wanted to live in a house. My parents’ house might’ve been a solution, but it only crossed my mind in a nightmare. I left home after graduation exactly for that peace. Though I ended up having part of that peace and no quiet. I’d like to think I get along with my family, save for animated my room daily with rants and gossip. Space was needed.
A room in that house was easier to afford. And I knew no one would intrude there.
Maybe she’ll tell me to leave, I thought. She wouldn’t be wrong to. From her perspective, I came out of nowhere. From my perspective, I was sent by the agency and assumed she knew.
It was all up to her. It’d be a hassle to look elsewhere, but I didn’t intend on complicating both of our lives for no reason. There are other things to be persistent about.
I’ll admit, the price of the room is ideal, to the point I wouldn’t use my whole paycheck and live off of scraps. For a price like that, I expected the photos to have been altered, and the room to have been in poor condition. I chose it anyway, thinking I didn’t need luxury. Good enough is great for me. Then I saw the room. It felt like crossing the screen and walking into the photos. Everything was clean, no dust hidden behind the door or under the bed, and no cough-inducing black window sill. The bedsheets smelled like fresh laundry, and the mattress was still wrapped in plastic. Even the pillow was sturdy enough to support my neck. That one was a gift from the universe. I didn’t seek my pillow in the car after that.
It can’t be helped if she doesn’t let me stay, but maybe I’ll even reconsider the suburbs then. Living with others was the last thing I wanted to do. But again, downtown took a toll on me. With my budget and the wish to live in a house, this was the best solution. And that house was so quiet at night, I’m not sure I’ll be so lucky with another.
No one bothered me after our first meeting. Rain was kind enough to let me rest instead of interrogating me all night. She could have. I was pretty nettled last night, not because of her, but because of the long night I had. Even with a GPS, I ended up taking the wrong turns, and worst of all, I knocked on the wrong door. That’s on me and my biggest flaw: a horrible sense of direction.
I turned off the engine and pulled out my keys. One last deep breath, and I was on my feet. This would go one way or another. Either she lets me stay or explains she wasn’t given enough notice from the agency. The convo would be swift no matter the outcome. It was odd to be worried and then nervous, because that, too, I rarely was.
A déjà vu crossed me the minute I reached a finger to the doorbell. I stood on the front step with utmost patience and an odd cocktail of nerves brewing.
A few beats later, the door opened, and I was faced with eyes void of confusion for a change. Being less restless than before, I could notice their colour. Brown. Like, a cup of coffee brewed fairly. She forced a smile. It tugged at her lips with motionless eyes. She’s better than me. I can’t escape the blank expression plastered on my face all day.
“Hello,” she said in a composed voice before stepping aside.
I nodded my reply before walking in. The entrance already felt familiar. Was this attachment in disguise? Did I latch on simply because this house ticked off all the marks?
We both seemed reluctant to move away from the entrance. While I closed the door, she stood, fidgeting with the hem of her loose red shirt.
“You just came back from work. You must be tired,” she gulped. “We can talk later if you’d like.” She swung her body lightly from side to side.
My nerves were nothing in front of hers. Despite her stable tone, her body language betrayed her font. It’s hard to call it a font, actually. She’s kind, a bit foolish too for trusting a stranger.
“I’m fine. We should discuss this living situation now,” I might’ve come off a bit blunt, but that’s how I am. No matter the times people told me to soften my words, I never thought it was worth the conscious effort.
“Then we should sit down,” she replied without a sign of annoyance.
I followed her to the living room where rested a black dining table plain of a cloth or mats. Maybe she doesn’t use it much, I thought. There were four chairs, all mismatched—who knows why. The set looked assembled from parts belonging to other sets.
We sat across from one another, each looking anywhere else. My target was the light switch of—presumably—the basement.
“Um,” she started. “There isn’t much to say, really. It’s just that despite your unexpected arrival, everything was fair and legal. So there’s no reason to make you leave.” Her face, exerting itself to stay still, then became my fixation. Every rapid blink. Every time she tucked her hair behind her ear. “But if you feel uncomfortable with the way things were handled, you can absolutely look elsewhere. I won’t take it to heart.”
Her response stunned me. That’s why kind people are called fools. What a prime example. It was obvious I’d stay; if someone had to be uncomfortable, it was her, not me. I had an additional reason to stay. I wouldn’t say I’m the best housemate choice for her, but I value boundaries and privacy the same way I like mine to be respected. In that regard, I’m not the worst. There could be worse. There could be people who take advantage of her kindness and lenience. Those people wouldn’t even need bad intentions to take advantage of her. They could be plain stupid. Too stupid to notice how she truly felt. I, at least, could guarantee her some ease of mind.
“I’ll stay as planned. Thank you.” I kept my replies short to show her I didn’t mean to be more than ‘legally a housemate’. I feel that’s what she wanted too.
Her coffee eyes stared at me for a little while, with courage, before her lips upturned into an easy smile.
“Great. It’s settled then. You’ve seen your room. You’ve met Hael. The house is pretty self-explanatory, as in, the kitchen, dining, and living room are part of one open space. And I’m sure you’ve already found the bathroom this morning. There’s just one more thing.” She holds her hands on the table as if bracing for my reaction. “There’s one more person expected to live with us. They’ll be in the basement and I know nothing about them still, but I’ll find an email in my spam folder soon enough,” she says with a hint of sarcasm—you’d easily miss it, though.
“No problem,” I said.
While of course less is better when it comes to people, a basement occupier isn’t concerning. You don’t see those people much. I’m more worried about Hael; that guy was too friendly. In the brief moment we were alone last night, he talked like an old acquaintance clinging to the past. How are some people so comfortable with strangers?
Rain is the opposite, but in some ways she’s unlike me. She’s straightforward and doesn’t drag conversations any longer than they need to be. But it’s intentional. She’s not the typical welcoming host who tries to build hype around what is simply a house. It’s an obligation to her. She doesn’t do more than she needs to—I prefer it. And that makes me think I’m not seeing her authentic self. It feels sacred. Hidden under layers. Something only a handpicked group of people have access to. That’s one way she is unlike me. There’s more beyond the mask.
Labour is always a great distraction. For me, work is line editing indie novels. Focusing on this heroine escapes her arranged marriage by boat with a bounty hunter story might be the only way I got through the day. It was that or refreshing both my inbox and spam folder incessantly. I set a 20 minute timer where I allowed myself nothing but work. Then I checked my emails in between those pockets of time. What’s more is that I was running out of cookies. My jaw was working overtime. It was my version of nail biting.
This agency kept me on my toes. Apparently, they go by data matching. Based on your answers to their oddly specific questionnaires, they find the most compatible tenants and don’t waste time. It’s a crossover between a dating app and a food delivery app—minus any form of prior communication. That prompted me to step out of my comfort zone and call them. I must’ve paced the living room about a hundred times while they were playing lounge music with the sound quality of a scratched LP. Once I got through, they admitted to having received complaints about their haste, but also persisted in claiming their service was perfectly safe. Every user went through rigorous background checks, and there was never an issue. They still gave me the choice to retract Egon’s contract, provided I could settle it with him.
Ultimately, the decision was easy. Nothing was noticeably wrong with Egon. If not him, another would take his place. Another stranger. It wasn’t worth the hassle. Besides, Egon seems to be a man of few words. This might be the one strike of luck I get from this mess. We’re a mere wall away, and so far, I hadn’t noticed his presence. Not in sound or sight.
Even earlier, he didn’t stretch the conversation more than it needed to. I felt more like a hotel receptionist than a housemate—which is better. But whether I noticed him or not, he still lived here. Along with Hael and the nameless basement housemate. Their being here robbed me of my freedom. The freedom to walk around the house in fewer clothing. To sing in the shower. To dance in the living room until I saw stars.
But it was temporary.
If I worked hard enough, earned more, and saved well, I’d someday be able to handle these bills myself. Or I could convince my parents to sell the house. That may take more time, with how stubborn they are. And with how few words we shared. They took “out of sight, out of mind” literally.
In the interim, I turned off my timer and immediately switched to my mail app. I nearly dropped my phone when I saw the email. That same tagline struck me down:
A tenant is on the way!
It gave me chills. Shivers peppered through my body. I was expecting it, but realization was tardy to kick in.
I hurried to open the e-mail, knowing time was probably not on my side. They were not joking when they said, ‘A tenant is on the way’.
Vaughn.
24.
Male.
There goes my idea of balance. Three men would be living under my roof. At least he was the same age as me. Egon was four years older, and Hael’s age was still unknown to me—he didn’t come with a profile. He didn’t look my age, but close to Egon’s, if not a few more years.
For a specific questionnaire, the agency wasn’t specific with its profiles. I knew nothing about Vaughn beyond surface level info. Would he be as reserved as Egon? As friendly as Hael? Or my biggest nightmare: loud and obnoxious? Surely not. He was compatible.
I shut my laptop closed and peeked out the window; the coast remained clear. No unknown car or stranger hauling a suitcase. Even so, I rushed downstairs. Vaughn was on his way, and unlike Amazon, this agency didn’t tell you how many stops away he was.
I was a step from the ground floor when the doorbell rang. That too made me shudder. Then I froze. I couldn’t blink or ease the breath that turned my body stiff. I was sure the parking lot was empty. Above all, the email was still fresh in my inbox. Unless Vaughn is a car racer with no respect for traffic laws, there was no way he was already here. Was the email sent late then? I thought.
The bell rang again. The sound thawed my legs. Taken aback or not, I shouldn’t stay on the stairs like an idiot. At this rate, Hael or Egon would think to open the door and witness me frozen in place instead.
I reached for the door, bracing for a new face. Instead, I was met with a familiar one. Relief loosened my tense shoulders, and I opened the door wider.
Hael dangled car keys next to his beaming face. Locks of tousled hair trickled down his face like bangs. “I picked up my new car,” he said.
That was quick, I first thought, then again, everything was in the past day or so.
I stood with equal parts relief and malaise. I was never good at reacting, especially when I wasn’t interested. I shot him a smile, though it didn’t reach my eyes.
“That’s great. I see the process was speedy.”
“Ah, the process started while I was in Germany, actually. I only needed to pick up the car.” He pointed to a farther parking lot in the neighbourhood. It was an additional space for people with more than one car.
Paid additional parking.
“I parked it there in the meantime. I hope it’s alright. Egon has a car too, so I couldn’t park in front of the house.”
I hadn’t thought of cars. The notion flew past my head. I’ll blame my dad who, in his rambles and sticky notes, hasn’t mentioned parking spots. Vaughn could also have a car. Only one of them can have the free parking spot. First come, first served wouldn’t be fair when none knew they’d needed to be first. And Hael was first, but he didn’t have a car yet.
“Uh, it is an additional parking lot, and I guess it’s fine to leave it there for the day. But there is a daily or monthly fee. We should figure out the parking issue when our last housemate arrives.” I explained.
I’d rather be in my room, line editing and snacking, I thought.
He grinned lightly, his eyes abashed. “I think it’s better if I use the additional parking space. I pay less than the rest. It’s only fair I take on that cost.”
He had a point, but a twinge of guilt reached me, nonetheless. He knew. Maybe not everything, but the gist of it. I couldn’t let him know he was the reason we needed another housemate. It wasn’t fair to him. I’m starting to think we’re on the same boat. Maybe he, too, was coerced by his father. If he didn’t want to live here, he sure didn’t show it. There, he differed from me.
“Which one is your car?” I asked, because taking an interest in what made him so happy was all the kindness I could afford to give.
His eyes lit up at my curiosity. “You want to see it?” His lips paused in a line. “Then let me properly show you.”
I closed the door behind me and followed him to the lot, my steps light.
“It’s a Nissan Rogue, by the way.”
The name flew past me, since I knew nothing about cars.
“I’ve heard it’s a reliable car. Simple, solid, and safe. The maintenance for a car like this is relatively cheap too,” he added, probably picking up on my indifference to its name.
That I could understand. It’s all you’d want in a car if it’s meant for the every day.
“It’s perfect then,” I said, not a hint of fervour in sound. I couldn’t muster it. But I thought it’d be better than silence.
We neared the parking lot situated in a wide corner of the block. I can’t see it from my window, which is why I didn’t notice the new car. Hael stopped in front of a spotless white car. He lightly tapped its hood before flashing me a smile, full of pride.
“This is the one,” he said, his gaze fixated on his pride.
It looked like a regular car to me, curved where cars are usually curved, flat where cars are usually flat. It was a car, alright.
I began to wonder if we were looking at the same vehicle because of how infatuated he seemed. If I liked cars as much, got rid of my fear of driving, and had enough money to buy a car and afford insurance, perhaps then I’d feel the same. For now: Sympathies.
“It’s pretty nice and simple. They do say: Simple is best.”
He snapped his fingers in my direction, “Exactly! That’s why I chose it. I’d rather go unnoticed than grab attention.”
I didn’t think my comment would strike a chord, nor did I think Hael preferred blending in. Not that he felt like an attention seeker; he’s just bright. Who was I to even assume anything about him? I barely knew him at all.
The sudden car show had completely distracted me from the email. Alas, all things came to an end, and the truth was: another stranger was on the way.
“Hael, by the way, I received another email from the agency. Long story short, his name is Vaughn, and he is on his way.” I tried to sound aloof, but shaky breath was a traitor.
He turned to me and read me like a book.
“Don’t worry about a thing, Rain,” his voice came out like the breeze ruffling his flannel. “It’s all gonna be fine. You might feel you were stripped of choice every time. With your parents, and with the agency, but I guarantee you, there’s choice left for you. You don’t like Vaughn, you don’t have to live with Vaughn.”