I found myself in a floral dress and a brown leather crossbody bag. It took me years to realize these dresses can be as comfortable as sweatpants. They’re so light and so welcoming to the wind.
After that harmonious meeting, Hael mentioned he was taking his new car for a ride. When he first asked me if I wanted to tag along, I dug around every corner of my mind for an excuse against it. That was until he added a little something.
He said he’d bring me to the supermarket. It stunned me that I hadn’t thought about groceries. Again, neither did my parents. In my defence, I went through a life changing event. Forgetting is an unwritten phase of grief. And grief doesn’t limit itself to death. I mourn what was.
When I pictured myself hauling heavy bags on the bus, I scrapped the excuses and unfortunately took him up on the offer. Getting groceries delivered would be a hefty expense, and truly, I needed to save up.
I sprayed a floral mist—the label looked so similar to the pattern of my dress that I’d use it as an accessory, were it not perfume. But I didn’t need accessories, not for the grocery store at least. Yet I still went for a beaded bracelet since summer was too precious to wait for a few special occasions. And I dressed for my pleasure.
I opened my door to head downstairs when my feet screeched to a stop. Egon had opened his door too, and I stood in front of him, blocking his path. I’m aware there is someone in every room now, but part of me is still oblivious and gets a shock at every refresher.
“I’m going with Hael. In his new car,” I’d felt compelled to say, stupidly.
I shouldn’t have said a thing. I should’ve walked past, because it happens. We’re housemates; meeting each other in a narrow hallway is normal. Alas, my brain is still adjusting and saw the situation as “person in house, talk to person”.
For a moment, his placid look latched onto my trepid eyes. I was ruing every last word I said whilst he looked indifferent to both my words and regrets.
“Do you want to go?” he then asked.
Confusion washed over me and swiped away all regret. His question was something I couldn’t have anticipated.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Do you want to go?” he repeated. “Or are you just being polite?”
His answer left me with more questions. If I wondered why he wanted to know, now, I wondered why he cared?
My awkward slip took a turn.
“He suggested we go grocery shopping too, and I don’t have a car or a license, so it works out for me.”
I wasn’t sure why I was standing in the hallway explaining myself to Egon. I could’ve asked him to mind his business and already have been outside. I got defensive. I don’t like misunderstandings, especially if a quick word is all it takes to avoid them. So it wasn’t Egon that made me talk, it was my pet peeve.
He nodded, gazing into the distance. For once, he must’ve been the one feeling embarrassed. Serves him right. He read me wrong. I would not go on a ride to be polite—I’d politely decline.
“So, I’ll get going,” I said before walking ahead, freeing him the space to walk out of his room.
I didn’t think he had anything more to say. I saved us both the trouble of conversation that way.
Outside, Hael’s car revved close. He’d brought his car from the farther parking lot and waited nearby. I suppose that was considerate. I locked the door behind me and sped to the car. Did I make him wait too long? I didn’t take that long to dress, and my interaction with Egon had been shorter than the one I had at the coffee truck.
“Ready for the ride?” Hael asked, flashing a teeth-full smile. He has an abundance of smiles within him. And he’s very generous with them. But I’m not a charity case.
Still, I felt apologetic for not being able to match his enthusiasm. Then again, it was his new car, not mine. This was a trip to the grocery store for me.
How fun.
“I am,” I told him, putting my grocery bag between my feet.
“Then let’s go,” he said, bringing the gear forward to drive.
The car overpoweringly smelled of leather. I wouldn’t go as far as saying it reeked, yet it was uncomfortable. That’s a sign the car is brand new. He must be earning quite enough to afford a new car. I’m not sure his rent discount contributed that heavily to his situation. Besides, he chose it from Germany before he had to pay rent.
That brings me to question why he’d live with strangers when he could easily afford to live alone. Maybe he used all his savings on the car. Or, as I feared, my mom sent him to keep an eye on me. I’d pity him if that were the case. Then there’s the possibility he’s paying for the car in installments. His car might not reflect his income and I was rash to think so. See, that’s why I prefer to mind my business. I spiral enough with my own. But his living with me is part of my business, and I’d like to ask why.
“Hael?”
“Yes?” he answers softly, like he’d been waiting for me to talk first.
I hesitated. I couldn’t risk raining on his parade. Even in silence, I could hear the joy this car brought him. His eyes looked at the road as if the sky were bluer and the grass greener. The corners of his lips lifted as though they were ready to settle there permanently. Why would I step on drying cement?
“The car really smells brand new,” I said instead.
Really, I’d wanted to ask if he’d been forced into this living situation like me.
“I personally like the smell, but it can make a person dizzy for sure. Feel free to open the window if it does.”
That scent mixed with heat was potent enough to make a person dizzy. Opening the window was the obvious solution, but I didn’t think of it while my thoughts drove faster than this car ever would.
I pressed the window down, and the gust flew at me in full force. I’d have been surprised if that was not exactly what I needed.
“Better?”
“Better,” I replied, my head back.
Flyaway hairs tickled my face while I breathed an amount of air you’d only get from a moving vehicle. I closed my eyes and relished. No more leather, just breeze.
A smile tugged at my lips when I saw Hael’s hair soaring sideways.
“This town’s pretty,” he said, more relaxed. “I only caught a glimpse of it when I picked up my car,” his glee returned when he said my car.
“Yes, it is,” I said, taking in the familiar sights of the town I grew up in. There’s less to see in the suburbs, but perhaps that’s better. I’d rather see vast greenery than building after building tall enough to rival trees—and block them. That greenery started to taint yellow from early falling leaves. Summer’s really coming to an end. Bitter-sweetly again.
Just when I thought my living conditions were okay, a guy like Vaughn had to be added to the mix. For a basement occupier, he sure had presence. He’s a spoiled brat, and it shows. I’ve never seen someone complain so much, and about the most trivial things.
Halfway through the meeting, I reconsidered living here. Then I thought it’d be a hassle. For everyone at that. I barely got in to begin with, throwing this chance away because of a brat would be plain stupid.
I claimed a seat in the living room, since both Rain and Hael weren’t home. Personally, being cooped up in my room or the house was a nightmare. I was on my phone looking for a place to eat nearby. I’m pretty frugal, but as a meal prep denier and a horrible cook—or maybe I’m just lazy—I found it hard to be frugal with food. The compromise I made with myself was simple: eat out, don’t deliver. I’m cutting costs in some way.
Restaurants in the suburbs are vastly spaced out. You’re doomed if you don’t have a car. Having several options on the same street is the only thing I’ll miss from downtown. Then again, discovering new places will keep me out of the house for long enough. With that in mind, I gave up scrolling and decided to seek out the area.
As I lifted myself off the sofa, I made instant contact with obnoxious green eyes. The brat came out of his cave, still glaring. When I heard he was renting the basement, I thought we’d barely see him. But it became clear we’d see him more, considering the basement counts as a room and his facilities are within the house—like the rest of us. I don’t think anyone knows why he’s here. He’s so out of place with his Ralph Lauren from head to toe and picky attitude.
He sighed when he saw me. I didn’t feel insulted by it, but didn’t feel the need to return it. I was on my way out and there’s no care in me for him or his situation.
Before I passed him, he opened his mouth again. I thought he’d sigh, but instead he released something more mind-boggling.
“Did I miss the cook? Does he clock out early in this house?” he asked, not a hint of comedy in his tone.
The silence that followed told me he was dead serious.
I felt silly to even answer. “There is no cook,” I said instead of leaving like I’d planned to.
“No cook?” His features contorted as he said it. “I was aware that people of lower classes couldn’t afford cooks, but even middle class people? Is the economy that horrendous in this town?”
I was at a loss for words. My head drew a blank.
Ignoring my stillness, he went on with his outrage.
“How am I supposed to care for my meals then?”
He could have kept the words in his head, because I cared just as much as the wall beside us. I wasn’t going to help a stranger whose second impression was worse than the first. That’s what it’s gonna be with him. A domino effect of progressively worse impressions.
“You’re living alone, no one’s taking care of your meals here,” I last said, before my feet became too restless to stay a second longer.
I could only guess that it was his first time living away from home. Also, that he was uneducated on being responsible for himself, but I wasn’t going to be a kind stranger and teach him anything. I only bear responsibility for myself and don’t see that changing anytime soon.